i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
