Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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