she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
