I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
