you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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