can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
