Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
