i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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