she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
