yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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