I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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