He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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