im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
