Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
