lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
