Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
