No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize