You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
