i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
