Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
