Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize