She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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