when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I am spending my child support on dildos
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
