Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
