Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
