We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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