I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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