The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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