whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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