I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
