Sponge bath it is.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So many bounce houses so little time
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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