remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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