Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
