Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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