u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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