NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
