You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Actions speak louder than pants.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
