so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
