i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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