I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
