Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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