We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
