just survived the first fart of the relationship.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
