i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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