he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
