Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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