Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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