He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
