she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
