but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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