Me too!
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
