what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I still have a little drunk in my system
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
false alarm, still single
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
