I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
