Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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