ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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