The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize