if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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