I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I want to make a zoo with you.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
