If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
