I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
