It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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