Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
