as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
