Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
