yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
